Same-sex weddings present some unique situations:
Who gives away the Brides? Who walks down the isle when there are to grooms?
Remember this is your day and although there are precedents for weddings anything is possible. Think of it as an expression of your personalities and present a day that is as unique or as traditional as you'd like. Etiquette for any wedding is based on tradition to some degree this is a great starting point to at very least get the ball rolling. Creating a ceremony and reception that is exciting, rich in memories and dynamic can be a challenge, but checking in with your vendors is a great way to get ideas. We here at SophterLight Photography have a few options to consider when planning your same-sex wedding.
Q. How do we arrange the processional?
Always dreamed about walking down the aisle with Dad or Mom? Create an aisle wide enough to accommodate four across: both of you, arm in arm with your fathers.
A. One of the most observed traditional wedding customs involves the walk to the altar (groom first, then the bride). How you want to address this when there are two brides or two grooms depends on personal taste. Some options:
Q. How do we select our bridal party?
A. Feel free to create a wedding party of friends and family, regardless of gender or traditional definitions. Two brides can have two best men -- or two maids of honor. You may choose to call the group "honor attendants" for a gender-neutral name. Or skip attendants all together.
Q. How can we customize a traditional ceremony?
A. I now pronounce you… husband and husband? The wording can get a little tricky when it's time for your officiant to make the actual pronouncement. Take a cue from commitment ceremony scripts and have your officiant pronounce you "partners for life" (which happens to rhyme with "husband and wife"). If that doesn't suit you, vows are a great place to personalize your ceremony. Many couples these days, regardless of gender, are opting to pen their own words. For great tips and how-tos, check out our article on writing your own vows.
Q. Who pays for what?
A. Today, many couples pay for their own celebrations with some help from their folks. In the traditional bride-groom arrangement there are some long-standing bill-splitting guidelines, but even these are just a starting point, altered by most. The best way to deal with the bottom line is to first figure out who is contributing to your cash flow. Are you two footing the entire bill yourselves? How much are parents or relatives willing to contribute? Once you calculate how much money you have to play with, it will all come down to how to spend it. (The fun part!) Discuss the elements that are most important to you both (An 8-piece Latin band? Two designer wedding gowns?) and map out the rest of the budget around those big items.
Q. Should I change my name?
A. Why not? Show off your new union to the world by making your last name match your partner's. There are a few ways to do it:
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